Today Mike and Zoe left for the lakes. Zoe is going to visit Grandma Leela for a few days so mommy can train at her new job. It has been quite some time since I have been alone with Max and Avery for more than a sick day. The absence of one child certainly doesn't slow things down around here, but the silence, or should I say lack of reciprocal communication is a lonely experience. Max can ask for his basic wants and needs and Avery can request a million things throughout the day with a gesture and a push, but there is no give and take with the language. I forget how impaired their communicative skills really are because I am so fine tuned to what they need and so used to the other self stimulatory behavior the engage in on a daily basis. There is a lot of talking going on and lots of noise being made, just none of it conversational or shared (lots of recited Spongebob Squarepants episodes though). Sure, when Max is grunting and laughing with delight and Avery is grinding her teeth with an enormous smile on her face I know things are going well. I also know that when I hear the unpleasant slapping of hands to the face Max is upset or the rip of diaper tape always means Avery is streaking. They both laugh and cry and sometimes for no reason at all. They are also very good at grabbing your hand and taking you to where and/or what they desire. As I always say, "they will get you there." Most parents complain that they don't get enough peace and quiet. Be careful what you wish for!
If I think this absence of language is lonely for me, I cannot even imagine how they must feel. Everyday this is their communication experience. I know much can be said for non-verbal language, but what about the individual with ASD who is typically unable to read this type of communication in another and respond? I have been mulling over this concept all day. The silence amidst the chaos is an experience I should reflect upon more frequently and appreciate how freely and easily I can participate and communicate in this busy world. Max and Avery struggle on a daily basis just to attain the basics. Most of the time the novel person is unable to interpret their gestures or non-sensical language. Autism is an adventure that is for sure- an adventure as a parent and it must certainly be one for my sweet angels coping with ASD.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Two Kids and Too Many Decisions
With the recent transition to center based services and too much time commuting to get there it has been challenging to make decisions about how long we will continue. Avery needs to get to school eventually and frankly so does Max. Our system of checks and balances is being seriously pushed to it's limits. I am drowning in choices and there is no definitive way to decide what is best without sacrificing something for everyone in the family.
I love the center and the therapists there, but this insane commute is almost too much and who knows what a harsh Minnesota winter will do. Also, how long can these kids really stay in ABA with a complete absence of other services. Both kids need to find their place in the world without a 1:1 therapist guiding their way, but when do we make this transition and even more importantly- HOW? Financially, I need to be working again and this presents a new dilemma.
It was so much easier when we just had to make decisions for one child on the spectrum. With two, I feel like my head is going to explode some days. I want to make sure I make the right choice for everyone in the family and now we are at a fork in the road where no matter what we do someone sacrifices something. I guess that is part of being a family. Maybe we have just been lucky in the last 5 years or maybe these choices just become harder as the kids get older.
I should just be grateful that we have so many options and good ones too. I have to trust my motherly instincts and go for it. Nothing is forever and I suppose if we could handle the diagnostic turmoil and heartache, we can handle a bunch of tough choices. This is going to be a year of changes for our family that is for sure!
I love the center and the therapists there, but this insane commute is almost too much and who knows what a harsh Minnesota winter will do. Also, how long can these kids really stay in ABA with a complete absence of other services. Both kids need to find their place in the world without a 1:1 therapist guiding their way, but when do we make this transition and even more importantly- HOW? Financially, I need to be working again and this presents a new dilemma.
It was so much easier when we just had to make decisions for one child on the spectrum. With two, I feel like my head is going to explode some days. I want to make sure I make the right choice for everyone in the family and now we are at a fork in the road where no matter what we do someone sacrifices something. I guess that is part of being a family. Maybe we have just been lucky in the last 5 years or maybe these choices just become harder as the kids get older.
I should just be grateful that we have so many options and good ones too. I have to trust my motherly instincts and go for it. Nothing is forever and I suppose if we could handle the diagnostic turmoil and heartache, we can handle a bunch of tough choices. This is going to be a year of changes for our family that is for sure!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)