Life has presented us all with a plethora of challenges and autism certainly has made things more difficult, but to say it is all bad wouldn't be true either. First and foremost, my children are healthy! Thank God for that, things could be so much worse.
One of my favorite things about Max is his artwork, It is so amazing and it appears to be a way he communicates and releases his anxiety. For example, back in December he had some pretty major dental surgery and for the next week, he kept drawing pictures of people and animals with very large teeth and a lot of them too! It was really very sweet and telling. His interest in art started early on when he would ask us to draw things. Of course Mike is a much better artist than I, which is a good thing since Max used to ask us to draw Manatee's and other ocean life. Finally, as his fine motor skills developed more he took over and has proven to be the artist in the family! Many ask, is this his "rainman" thing, and after the initial annoyance wears off and I explain that his art isn't detailed in a way that appears savant like, it is just very creative and it is his absolute favorite pass time. He loves the magna doodle, white board and markers, crayons, basically any medium we allow him to have. Of course the time he swiped a black sharpie upstairs and drew Blue's Clues paw prints all over his bed and walls was not my favorite, but that is why the Magic Eraser was invented, right? Sometimes he draws the same thing over and over. Sometimes a red circle is just a red circle, other times, it is a jelly bean or rocket ship. He also uses Play-doh and clay to make his favorite letter or number of the day, or sometimes it is an animal. It is so terrific and it makes me smile each and every time! Art is a way to encourage Max's communication and keep him engaged in our world, which is crucial for his day to day successes. I am so proud he has found something he enjoys.
In addition, many 8 year old boys are over their moms kissing and hugging them all the time, not my sweet Max, he can't get enough of me. Sometimes this attachment can be challenging, but I am grateful. I am also sometimes glad I don't have to deal with the raucous nature of young boys. All the Star Wars, wrestling, and other rambunctious play is overwhelming to me. I am a lover, not a fighter and I am glad Max is too.
As for Avery, it is her desire to imitate every word even though it is a struggle that warms my heart. She only has about 10 words she uses independently, but she will try anything. So of course Zoe has taught her some funny stuff, like "stinky butt" when her diaper is full. I know lame humor, right? Her play skills are also delightful. So often children on the spectrum don't play with toys, but Avery feeds her dolls, drives her cars and has had a million tea parties. Thank goodness she is patient because Zoe dresses her up in princess costumes on a regular basis as well. She makes a really cute Cinderella! Avery is great with puzzles too. Of course she does some of the perseverative ASD things like stacking buckets of toys or lining up cars, but for the most part, her play skills are AWESOME! I am so glad she lets Zoe play with her, that is what sisters are supposed to do and Max is not as tolerant. This is so important for our family dynamic. Avery is also so curious. She will climb and jump on anything just to see if she can get higher. At the park she wants to play on all of the equipment, even the ones she is too little for. This year she is ready for a bike with training wheels and she hopped on the first time without hesitation. Of course she needs some guidance to get herself going, but she is willing to try. This fearlessness takes my breath away at times, but that kind of tenacity will help her go far in life. I wish I tackled life the same way. I hope she never grows out of it. I will probably change my tune though the first time she breaks her arm though!
My dear Zoe has the kindest of hearts and she deserves a post all her own to address her soulful nature. She is mature beyond her years in so many ways. Autism has robbed her of a normal childhood, but she will grow into an adult with the patience and kindness many will never acquire.
Autism can be unbearable at times, but even on the worst days all 3 of my children are so happy. They are smiling more often than not and giggling all the time. I guess we must be doing something right if everyone is so happy. I guess sometimes the silver lining is hard to find, but if you look hard enough it will always be there.
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