Last week during a typical Target outing with Max and Avery (Zoe was at school) I had the most pleasant reception from the lady behind us in the checkout line. Of course Max was playing with the tags by the candy and Avery was trying to crawl out of the cart. Max was very loudly going to town with his verbal scripting and stimulation. He was excited and happy and this always attracts attention. He was running away from me (not escaping) doing his excited "dance" and I had to keep running to get him as he rarely answers to his name and has no awareness of safety. During this time I also needed to empty my cart, pay, and get going. Avery was not happy and only wanted the shiny bag of Starkist Tuna, but guess what you have to ring it through first! She does not understand this concept. :)
Okay so chaos at the checkout is not big deal, it happens to ALL parents, but it is the staring and mean comments that usually trigger my response because my children cannot help it that a simple trip to the store can be very stimulating for them. This day was different. As I was trying to get through the line, I explained to the lady behind me "My children have autism and I am sorry it is taking me so long, this is always crazy!" She said, "No problem, I am so glad that you are doing this." I am not sure what that meant exactly, but it warmed my heart at the compassion of others regardless of her intent. Her eyes and smile were warm and not full of pity, which for the record is equally annoying as rude stares! It definitely took an extra 15 minutes to finish up and she was patient and kind. If only everyone would respond that way.
I have had many trips where it doesn't end so well, but this trip was great. Sometimes the simplest exchanges mean so much. This story is important to share, because it was special to me and my children. We all have our challenges and it takes patience to appreciate the public's perceptions both good and bad! I hate the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child," but I do think it takes a village to show compassion sometimes in today's world!
The message I want to send here is that people really are good at heart, at least that is what I believe.
WOW, Chas, I had no idea! I did not know you had 2 autistic children. I don't know too much about it, I'll have to keep reading your blog to get more informed. This is the first post I've read, it's so beautifully written that I can't wait to read more! I can really appreciate how you feel (simply as a mother, because raising kids has it's challenges), but you must be dealing with so much more. You must have a lot of energy to keep up with the kids, a career, and running on top of all that! You are even MORE amazing than I thought! ;)
ReplyDeleteChas, this is amazing!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to the Target experience. A simple kind look or comment can make your day!!! But the more often, unkind words, stares, etc. leave you feeling sick to your stomach.
for sharing this upl;ifting experience.